A small island in the immensity of the Atlantic Ocean, a piece of land merely 67 square miles, a speck on a map; unbelievably, this is where God placed me to call me to himself among the Daughters of St. Paul. It seems that the words of Isaiah were meant just for me: “Listen to me, o islands, pay attention, you peoples from far away! The Lord called me before I was born, while I was in my mother’s womb he named me” (Is 49:1).
I was born in the city of Horta, on the Island of Faial, in the Archipelago of the Azores, which belongs to Portugal; here my parents introduced me to the life of faith through Baptism.
In 1956 a volcano erupted on the northern part of our island, covering the nearby village with lava and sand and displacing its inhabitants. As a result, many people immigrated to the United States, among them my grandparents and other relatives, who settled in California. A little later they were joined by my parents and their five children, ranging in age from 13 to 2 years old (Germana, Armanda, Grace, John, and Maria).
We exchanged the Azores Islands–a place of little land and a lot of sea, for California–a land of wide spaces and sunny skies. Once in the USA, we amalgamated quickly into our new country. Both of my parents worked hard to support our family.
My vocation
I remember well the Saturday afternoon when I “met” the Daughters of St. Paul. I was washing dishes after lunch while listening to the radio when I heard a brief program in which a Daughter of St. Paul spoke about religious life. At the end of her talk, the Sister invited young women to come to the convent the following day for a retreat.
I had no intention of becoming a nun, but something about the Sister’s voice and her message intrigued me. The next day, my mother accompanied my sister Armanda and me to the convent. While waiting for us, my mother prayed in the Sisters’ chapel….
For me, the following months were marked by confusion and inner struggle: on the one hand I felt a deep love for God and the things of God, but on the other hand, I had other ideas about my future: I wanted to finish my education, have a family, learn new languages and travel. Encouraged by my mother, I haltingly made the decision to enter the postulancy, and try for a year, to see if “I would like” religious life. I was 16 years old.
That “year” has never ended, and today, after 44 years as a Daughter of St. Paul, I can say with conviction that Jesus Master offered me the gift of the Pauline vocation. He has remained with me, walked with me, and allowed me to experience the joy of living this great adventure!
Formation and years of intense activity
During my initial formation I followed the prescribed program of studies and worked in the technical apostolate. Since I was young and tall, it was thought that I could work in the bindery and run the folding machine; but soon my lack of mechanical ability and practicality proved me incompetent for that task, and I was moved to the typesetting and proofreading department. It was wonderful to be able to type and read so many books!
During the first years of formation, I also loved to read the lives of Fr. Alberione and Prima Maestra Thecla and all our own “saints.” Everything I learned filled my heart with a sense of joy and serenity. The teenager that had doubted whether she would find religious life appealing was slowly being courted and “captured” by the beauty of our charism. And this appreciation for our spirituality and mission, sown richly in the soil of my young heart, has remained with me throughout my life, together with the desire to share it with others. It has been a tremendous gift!
At age twenty-eight, I was asked to become the formator for our pre-postulants. Four years later, I was sent to study psychology at the Pontifical Gregorian University in Rome. Returning to the United States, I became the formator for the novices and then for the Junior professed. These years were followed by two terms as provincial superior. When this service ended, I was given the gift of a year of renewal and theological updating.
A new season of life
Just as I was ready to begin a new phase of Pauline life, in which I would be more directly involved in the apostolate, I had to care for my mother at home, during the last three years of her life. After she died I discovered that I had breast cancer. Rather than resume the apostolate, now I would experience the vulnerability of sickness. The treatment consisted in a rather aggressive form of chemotherapy for one year, plus radiation. During this time, I learned many lessons, above all that life is both fragile and precious.
In the post-treatment phase of my medical journey, I was full of optimism and energy. I finally would fulfill the dream of being stationed in one of our branch communities to work in the diffusion apostolate. I loved working in the bookcenter and going for parish exhibits, and to be in contact with people, hear their stories and share the Good News with them. I think of our centers as bringing Christ to the marketplace, right where the people are! My sister Armanda, who is also a Daughter of St. Paul, loves the bookcenter apostolate and she is quite gifted in this area. I am very proud of her, and all she has been able to accomplish in our Congregation.
As for me, life had settled into a good pace, and I was very happy. But it did not last long…. I received a phone call from the Superior General inviting me to move to Rome and work in the International Secretariat for Formation and Studies (SIF). This act of obedience was not easy because it meant leaving the United States province, my new community and an apostolate that I genuinely enjoyed, at a time when my health was still precarious. But with time, the struggle of acceptance has reaped many blessings. The Generalate community has provided welcome, an atmosphere of fervent prayer, sisterly companionship and examples of Pauline holiness in action. Thanks to SIF, I have the opportunity to work with the sisters participating in the Course of Preparation for Perpetual Profession, to witness their enthusiasm, and to share with them the beauty of our Pauline consecrated life.
In the end, the young teenager who wanted to study, travel, have a family and learn new languages had all her wishes fulfilled in a unique and enriching way! Through happy moments and difficult ones, I have experienced the consistent, abiding, gentle presence of the Divine Master, who has sustained me and has always offered me the kind of joy and peace that the world cannot give.
As I celebrate my 40th anniversary of profession, I can say with conviction that I have been very happy in our Congregation. These years have been a remarkable story of God’s fidelity in pursuing me and sustaining me in the Pauline life. Magnificat!
Germana Maria Santos, fsp